Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Moody Blues (Warning, it's a pathetic rant)

It's a band, right? Well, it's also a description of how I feel today. It's just a really ridiculously emotional & blah day. It's pouring rain outside. Maybe that has something to do with it.

Maybe it's because there are just days when you feel the world is against you. I should've retreated back under my covers and said, "you are right, universe!" I should listen to your wisdom more often.

I was late this morning, which never helps. And even though I told myself I wasn't going to do that anymore, it happened again. *sigh* Stupid commute and traffic. Ever have one of those days where you just want a friend to listen to you be awful and whiny, like Eeyore? Everyone loved him despite his melancholy mood. I feel like Eeyore today, only without my piglet and pooh. I got to work and I just feel like all that I need to get done won't and everyone I have to deal with I'd just rather not. I forgot my lunch, nothing good is for sale in the company store, and it's still gross outside so I'm not going anywhere for anything good. Boo hoo. Well, I have fought back the tears already more times than I can count. Why can't I be a big girl today? I wanna put my big girl pants on! I think they're still in the laundry.
I'm ready to spit out this day and have another one that's bright and cheery and warm. I wanna be a billionaire. Heard that song on the radio. That's pretty funny actually. I will survive. Another song. Perpetually over-karaoke'd.

Ok, so there's my pathetically whiny overture and quite the universal reminder that I'm far from perfect. Can't wait until the universe decides to remind me that I'm going to be ok. Oh, and a little sunshine wouldn't hurt. I'm putting in my order in hopes that the master chef has that on special tomorrow. :)

Friday, May 7, 2010

My Caribou cup spews encouragement, it goes a little something like this:

Go home early and play with your kids
Max out your passport
Stir emotions
Sip it, sip it good
Take a 7 day weekend
Run your feet, not your mouth
Your are as wonderful as your dog thinks you are
Teach a child to fish
Technology is good, but people are better
Re-read your favorite book
Question authority
Roll down the hill
Marry your sweetheart
Dream big, act bigger
Do more cannonballs
Surprise your BFF with a cup of coffee
Build communities not empires
Read poetry
Pick up the check
Give a kid some crayons
Sleep under the stars
Take the stairs
Tell someone you love them
Hold hands not grudges
Get there on two wheels
Do the hokey pokey
Say 5 nice things about the person sitting across from you
Kiss slowly and forgive quickly
Remember where you came from

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Twenty two lessons

http://stacyjulian.com/blog

Stacy has prompted me to make a list of 22 things that I learned as a Mother.
Think it's easy? You try it out and create your own list! (Don't forget to share yours in comments!)

Here's what I've learned:

1. Time goes by FAST! Really fast. Take lots of pictures.
2. I can actually multi-task. Really.
3. I have an impact on others. I'll let my kids sort out what was good or bad in therapy.
4. Just when you think you can't do anymore - you can.
5. Vomit always happens at night. It's like some weird nocturnal freaklike phenomena. And it's gross.
6. Nothing makes you feel more incompetent than helping with math homework above the third grade level. When did they decide to change all that stuff?
7. You will eventually have to look them in the eye and explain what really happened.
8. A penny saved is a penny found in the laundry.
9. A mother's work really is never done. So take some time out - spend it with your family or for yourself.
10. That no matter how much taller they are than me or older they get, they'll always be my baby. And I can still kick their butt.
11. Cuz I'm the Mom, that's why really works.
12. How to cheer someone on. REALLY full out until I no longer have a voice cheer or just the simple huggy kind.
13. The TV will stay on for all eternity unless I'm there to shut it off. Same goes with the bathroom light.
14. If Momma ain't happy, kisses always work. And hugs.
15. Patience only applies to your own kids. By the time you deal with them, there's not much left for anyone else.
16. Being flexible is the best resource for sanity.
17. It's a thankless job but I still accept gratitude.
18. I learned to respect my own mother and all mothers for that matter.
19. Mothers are not perfect but as long as I'm willing to keep trying, I will be good enough.
20. I don't have all the answers. (refer back to #6) That's why I surround myself with other amazing women, just in case in need something.
21. Helping hands are the best form of applause.
22. The journey is so worth taking.

Thank you Michaela & Megan!

Friday, March 19, 2010

More tidbits of everyday inspiration

Not only did I get a wonderful cup of dark chocolate espresso deliciousness this morning, but it comes with all these lovely phrases that are just terrific:

Thank a teacher
Learn to dance a jig
Laugh so hard you cry
Love what you brew, brew what you love
Make today special
Compliment a stranger
Do it for love, not for profit
Be a hero minus the dorky cape
Enter a pie eating contest
Start right now
Continue more conversations offline
Become a bee keeper
Smile first, ask questions later
Eat when you are hungry, Nap when you are tired
Grow older without ever growing up
Follow your heart
Take all your vacation days
Dance to your own rhythm

and my personal fave of the bunch:
Make time for silly

Have a wonderful weekend to all visitors! Be swell! :)

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Today's tidbit for worthiness:

"Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." Christopher Robin to Pooh

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

I am worthy NOW.

We all are. RIGHT NOW. One of my favorite blogs to visit is Brene Brown's. She has spent years studying, lecturing, teaching, and writing about shame resilience, compassion, and worthiness. I adore her and her courage to continue to speak from the heart and from the place that all women should be comfortable being in. Love her quote "No matter what gets done and how much is left undone; I am enough." She's doing a week of worthiness on her blog that is so worth checking out.
http://www.ordinarycourage.com/

Her week of worthiness is about looking at those moments when we don't feel like we are enough, have done enough, etc. I have been telling myself it will all be better when but not until then.
I'll be enough I have more money.
I'll be enough when I have more friends.
I'll be enough when I am forgiven.
I'll be enough when I get that college degree.
I'll be enough I gain 10 pounds.

This is all about embracing worthiness NOW. Imperfection oozing, flaws hanging out, and with all those things being undone, untrue, without.

As some of you that know me well may already know, I have weight issues. Not the kind that I have too much, but the kind that I don't have enough. I don't have enough of me and physically I am a reminder of not being enough. This past Saturday, I was dropping my daughter off at a friend's home for a sleepover. There were a few Moms hanging out in the kitchen and as we exchanged niceities, one decided she wanted to exchange, imo, something else. "Oh, now I see why your daughter is so skinny. Look at you! It all makes sense now. I was wondering if she was being fed." Would you say any of those things to anyone? How could she have meant this as a compliment? I wouldn't chalk her comments up as confidence builders. All I could think of was she was now subjecting my daughter to it. And I hate that. I wanted to scream that my daughter is perfect just the way she is, right now. And I sort of had a light that went off and I thought, dammit, I don't want to feel this way anymore. I am sick of people commenting on my weight. Period. I am sick of those daggers being thrown that I'm not big enough, tall enough, round enough, curvy enough, blah blah blah. Why is it ok to say anything? Sometimes it's not even a personal dig as it can come from hearing discussions about movie stars - she's too thin/thick/etc. If they are saying something negative about someone that may indeed resemble my own size, my first thought is to agree and say "I'm not worthy until I weigh enough". Then I start to think, what is that number? How will I know when I get there?

I know I am worthy of acceptance. Everyone is individual and we come in all shapes and sizes. I have things that I wish I could change. I'd have thicker lips, no translucent dark lines under my eyes and bigger breasts. I could also learn to be less brash with my own comments, mail a birthday card on time, and return phone calls. But I am worthy of feeling enough today. I am worthy to feel confident when I got dressed and take on the challenges of my day. Today I have the courage to say:

I am worthy of acceptance and compassion without needing to eat an ice cream cone (or a sandwich).
I am worthy even though I ate that ice cream cone and it didn't go to my middle.
I am worthy without needing to gain 5 or 10 pounds.
I am worthy without a college degree.
I am worthy without validation from others that I am enough.
I am worthy for love.
I am worthy and enough right now.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Everyday moments

On Ali's blog today, she is offering a lovely giveaway and it was about sharing everyday moments. Of course it prompted me to think about what I think are the best everyday moments in my life. Should I share? Of course I should! Here's my list:

The smell of the coffee pot brewing and that first cup of coffee.

When I make lunches for the girls and the dogs come out of the bedroom just in case there's crusts that need to be cut off.

After I drop Megan off at school, I get about 10-15 minutes of one-on-one time with Michaela as we drive to drop her off at school. It's usually when I get the lowdown on her friends, her teachers, her everyday.

Hearing my favorite radio talk shows chatter away during my commute. It takes my mind off the pressure of the work day.

Checking my personal email and my daily horoscopes.

The text messages that I receive from my husband. They are rarely about anything in particular, but I think it's our way of staying connected during the day.

Coming home and feeling the comforts of either routines or lackthereof. Sometimes we soak up our favorite TV shows, sometimes we all do something different on our own, and sometimes half of us are at a Brownie meeting or Dance practice. It's all good.

One of the best everyday moments that I cherish right now is when Megan says goodnight. It's the way she needs it to be: A hug, followed by a kiss, another hug and then the exchange of "Good night, love you, see you in the morning, love you." If it's not in that order, we start over. I love that goodnight has to be perfect and that sometimes I mess it up, just because I want to start over.

I love when my family is snuggled in bed and I have a few moments to myself before I go to bed to wake up and start again.

Adventure and spontaneity is thrilling, but I love and appreciate everyday moments best.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Monday, March 1, 2010

I'm going to keep trying!

To update my blog that is. Not sure if there's anyone out there but hey, I will anyway.

I'm determined to begin taking more photos and I have been scrapping again. I'll post next to share what I've been working on creating.

For today, I got so many bits of wonderful & upbeat tips on my Caribou coffee cup. Like little perky daily doses of inspiration. I enjoyed them so much, I am sharing with everyone today. The last one is from me. ;)

Donate blood - you have plenty
Sing out loud
Lighten up
Get your hands dirty
Don't wait to make a New Year's resolution
Give your spare change to charity
Be the first to apologize
Spend time with your kids, tomorrow they're a day older
Dance in the rain
Pour yourself a cup full of karma, then savor every sip
Step one: Rake leaves, Step two: Jump!
Only look back if it makes you smile
Marshmallows have no nutritional value and that's ok
Be the ruler of your own life
You'll only be your current age once
Be the first to enter and the last to leave the party
Plant lots of trees
Learn to say Thank You in ten languages
Dare to adventure
Have a favorite charity
Indulge in chocolate therapy
Smile at everyone - it's free!

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Hiatus

Another hiatus. URRGGGH

I've been inspired to play with paper...again! Yay!
The Forum is at http://www.scrapbookdeals4u.com/forums

They are having a Roses are Red online crop this weekend. Well, I am ready to join in and be CHALLENGED! Lots of them are posted - 12+ and I'm happy to be inspired by the great new faces there. Check it out with me!

Off to make lots of layouts to love...