I am worthy NOW.

We all are. RIGHT NOW. One of my favorite blogs to visit is Brene Brown's. She has spent years studying, lecturing, teaching, and writing about shame resilience, compassion, and worthiness. I adore her and her courage to continue to speak from the heart and from the place that all women should be comfortable being in. Love her quote "No matter what gets done and how much is left undone; I am enough." She's doing a week of worthiness on her blog that is so worth checking out.
http://www.ordinarycourage.com/

Her week of worthiness is about looking at those moments when we don't feel like we are enough, have done enough, etc. I have been telling myself it will all be better when but not until then.
I'll be enough I have more money.
I'll be enough when I have more friends.
I'll be enough when I am forgiven.
I'll be enough when I get that college degree.
I'll be enough I gain 10 pounds.

This is all about embracing worthiness NOW. Imperfection oozing, flaws hanging out, and with all those things being undone, untrue, without.

As some of you that know me well may already know, I have weight issues. Not the kind that I have too much, but the kind that I don't have enough. I don't have enough of me and physically I am a reminder of not being enough. This past Saturday, I was dropping my daughter off at a friend's home for a sleepover. There were a few Moms hanging out in the kitchen and as we exchanged niceities, one decided she wanted to exchange, imo, something else. "Oh, now I see why your daughter is so skinny. Look at you! It all makes sense now. I was wondering if she was being fed." Would you say any of those things to anyone? How could she have meant this as a compliment? I wouldn't chalk her comments up as confidence builders. All I could think of was she was now subjecting my daughter to it. And I hate that. I wanted to scream that my daughter is perfect just the way she is, right now. And I sort of had a light that went off and I thought, dammit, I don't want to feel this way anymore. I am sick of people commenting on my weight. Period. I am sick of those daggers being thrown that I'm not big enough, tall enough, round enough, curvy enough, blah blah blah. Why is it ok to say anything? Sometimes it's not even a personal dig as it can come from hearing discussions about movie stars - she's too thin/thick/etc. If they are saying something negative about someone that may indeed resemble my own size, my first thought is to agree and say "I'm not worthy until I weigh enough". Then I start to think, what is that number? How will I know when I get there?

I know I am worthy of acceptance. Everyone is individual and we come in all shapes and sizes. I have things that I wish I could change. I'd have thicker lips, no translucent dark lines under my eyes and bigger breasts. I could also learn to be less brash with my own comments, mail a birthday card on time, and return phone calls. But I am worthy of feeling enough today. I am worthy to feel confident when I got dressed and take on the challenges of my day. Today I have the courage to say:

I am worthy of acceptance and compassion without needing to eat an ice cream cone (or a sandwich).
I am worthy even though I ate that ice cream cone and it didn't go to my middle.
I am worthy without needing to gain 5 or 10 pounds.
I am worthy without a college degree.
I am worthy without validation from others that I am enough.
I am worthy for love.
I am worthy and enough right now.

Everyday moments

On Ali's blog today, she is offering a lovely giveaway and it was about sharing everyday moments. Of course it prompted me to think about what I think are the best everyday moments in my life. Should I share? Of course I should! Here's my list:

The smell of the coffee pot brewing and that first cup of coffee.

When I make lunches for the girls and the dogs come out of the bedroom just in case there's crusts that need to be cut off.

After I drop Megan off at school, I get about 10-15 minutes of one-on-one time with Michaela as we drive to drop her off at school. It's usually when I get the lowdown on her friends, her teachers, her everyday.

Hearing my favorite radio talk shows chatter away during my commute. It takes my mind off the pressure of the work day.

Checking my personal email and my daily horoscopes.

The text messages that I receive from my husband. They are rarely about anything in particular, but I think it's our way of staying connected during the day.

Coming home and feeling the comforts of either routines or lackthereof. Sometimes we soak up our favorite TV shows, sometimes we all do something different on our own, and sometimes half of us are at a Brownie meeting or Dance practice. It's all good.

One of the best everyday moments that I cherish right now is when Megan says goodnight. It's the way she needs it to be: A hug, followed by a kiss, another hug and then the exchange of "Good night, love you, see you in the morning, love you." If it's not in that order, we start over. I love that goodnight has to be perfect and that sometimes I mess it up, just because I want to start over.

I love when my family is snuggled in bed and I have a few moments to myself before I go to bed to wake up and start again.

Adventure and spontaneity is thrilling, but I love and appreciate everyday moments best.

And then some more

More more more

Back to share

Here's some recent layouts that I've completed.

I'm going to keep trying!

To update my blog that is. Not sure if there's anyone out there but hey, I will anyway.

I'm determined to begin taking more photos and I have been scrapping again. I'll post next to share what I've been working on creating.

For today, I got so many bits of wonderful & upbeat tips on my Caribou coffee cup. Like little perky daily doses of inspiration. I enjoyed them so much, I am sharing with everyone today. The last one is from me. ;)

Donate blood - you have plenty
Sing out loud
Lighten up
Get your hands dirty
Don't wait to make a New Year's resolution
Give your spare change to charity
Be the first to apologize
Spend time with your kids, tomorrow they're a day older
Dance in the rain
Pour yourself a cup full of karma, then savor every sip
Step one: Rake leaves, Step two: Jump!
Only look back if it makes you smile
Marshmallows have no nutritional value and that's ok
Be the ruler of your own life
You'll only be your current age once
Be the first to enter and the last to leave the party
Plant lots of trees
Learn to say Thank You in ten languages
Dare to adventure
Have a favorite charity
Indulge in chocolate therapy
Smile at everyone - it's free!

Hiatus

Another hiatus. URRGGGH

I've been inspired to play with paper...again! Yay!
The Forum is at http://www.scrapbookdeals4u.com/forums

They are having a Roses are Red online crop this weekend. Well, I am ready to join in and be CHALLENGED! Lots of them are posted - 12+ and I'm happy to be inspired by the great new faces there. Check it out with me!

Off to make lots of layouts to love...