Being "In the Know"

I did it! I found out how to post. Yay me! :) Guess that means I'm blogging again.

I post on facebook (like a lot. alotta lot.) so it was probably easy for me to just use that as my outlet. But truth be told, blog posts are a bit better. For the self-expression anyway. Maybe I'll post someday specifically about facebook. Lots to say about that. ;) Many of my friends on facebook have both commented on posts and some have privately sent messages me to encourage me to write because they enjoy my writing. That's a total heart swell of a thing to say to someone. I have not forgotten that encouragement and with that and my daughter's recent prompt, I considered it with deeper thought and of course agreed.

I'll give you a bit of a backstory on why Michaela prompted me:

She's a college sophomore and has a couple of roommates that have become her best friends. So much so, they refer to each other as their "moms" because they take care of each other. It's seriously the cutest. (Here's where I would insert a photo of those adorable friends but I need to refresh my memory on how to do all of that.) They've navigated through two years of college together and are all doing so incredibly well. (Brag post coming soon.) Next year, instead of dining on gross cafeteria food and living in the dorms, they decided to get a small apartment to share. Super exciting time for them of course, which as you all know, but it also brings a certain dose of anxiety too. They start to work out a lot of details, like calling around to local apartment property managers to arrange to see what may be available. Then after the tours, they start to explore what they need to do to actually rent the apartment that they like. Wow - there's lots of commitments and paperwork and money and stuffs involved. Then they begin to talk to each other about how they have no idea how this stuff works and this leads them down anxiety lane about life in general. Oh no! How can they be "moms" if they don't know stuffs? What will we do without our ACTUAL moms?! This is likely the very moment that I received the text.

Mom I want you to start a blog just for me where you just tell me everything you know about life

Imagine my initial surprise. Then my heart swell. This girl still needs me. ZING! The moment all moms wait for. Of course I reply with "It's called adulting. We're all just winging it. But I'll share some of the things I've learned and all my favorite stuffs." With lack of a better way of saying it, I'm gonna give it the old college try. Not that I went to college for very long, but I certainly have lived a lifetime of trying. And this is where the first post to my first born's request begins.

Michaela - ya know the best way to learn something? Trial and error.

I know, not the most clever idea in the world but I can tell you that since we all came screaming into this world, we have tried - then erred - then tried again. Learning to walk, learning to read, learning to ride a bike, learning how to drive, etc. Do we figure that out the first time we try? NO WAY. We're all a bit wobbly at first. It's when we keep trying that gives us all the opportunities we need to actually do it. Then the more we try, the easier things get and the better we get at things.

Some people get better at some things than others. Some people get REALLY good at a certain things. Most of us aren't good at everything and likely it's because we stop trying or just decide it doesn't come all that naturally. In other words, practice makes perfect or at least as close to perfection as we can get. Most things require repetition. Let's talk about a few examples of what I have learned by trial and error, shall we?

1. I cannot whistle. I've tried over and over and over again. Still can't but every now and again I keep trying it, just in case my lips decide to have a breakthrough.

2. I struggle with Algebra. And other math-like things. But I bet if I really focused and did the work, I could do it. It just feels painful and up to this point in my life, I don't need it. Other math is VERY important to me though. Like I totally live in a world where percentages, averages, and margins mean something.

3. Driving takes a lot of practice. There's a good reason that it is required to have so many hours of real world application before being licensed to operate a motorized vehicle. It's called risk - the risk of potentially of harming yourself, other people, and causing a considerable amount of damage if you don't try over and over to get comfortable handling that vehicle. The risk is the reason that insurance is so damned expensive for young drivers is because of the inherent chance of erring while learning to drive. I dented the whole driver's side door in my first car because I didn't navigate the pole in the covered parking lot correctly. Whoopsie.

4. Making Macaroni and Cheese - the Kraft way. I used to need to read the directions on the box. I had to learn how to boil water first. Then, after a few thousand blue boxes later...and many boil overs and too-mushy noodles and too-runny batches to count, I can make that stuff while half asleep if needed and always without measuring a thing. Plus, if you add a bit of pepper and a dash of salt = perfection. It wasn't your and your sister's fave food for no reason. That crap is good.

5. Diapering a baby was some scary shit. Literally. The whole taking care of a baby is really, especially when I had no trials and errors because no one trusted me with their babies before. When the reality of what I needed a crash course in how to take care of my newborn took over, I knew I had gotten myself into a pretty tough predicament. You were born in southern CA where I had no Mom or sister or in-laws or best friends to tell me how to do anything. It was the most frightening and emotional time of my life (which really led me into post-partum depression but that's another post for another time). There was a beautiful tiny baby that needed me to feed her, clean her, and cover her bum. The first few times seemed innocent enough. I wrapped it around, pulled the tabs off and stuck the sides together. You peed in it, then I did it again. Then it got easier and easier. Until the blowouts of smushy disgusting diarrhea that runs up your back all the way to your neck, soaking your entire onesie and pink dress. GAK! So gross. That's when I learned that you needed to go a size up in Pampers. Or when that same darling baby girl gets a bit older and squirms around so much that I learned to distract, change quickly, and with one hand so I can keep her from rolling away while doing it. Expert status.

I'm hoping to continue to give you detailed versions of some more things that I've learned because you asked that of me. Today's post was really a general post to frame the concept of future content. And because, I also want to encourage you along the way. I've had to learn to do things by myself and sometimes I've had help. I've also had lots of encouragement in my life. Surround yourself with the best kind of people that will do that for you because when you try and try hard, sometimes it doesn't work out. And when you err or ding your confidence, they will help you to try again.

I'm still learning. I hope I never get to the point of my life that I think there's nothing left to learn. I can share my stories as I go, and maybe you can learn a thing about how things work. But I can guarantee that your best lessons will be the ones that you try on for yourself. By the way, I would love to hear about your lessons, too.

P.S. - Sometimes the best lessons are learned when you are picking yourself up, brushing yourself off, or waiting for your bruises to heal. How you navigate back to your feet is also part of the practice. Everyone trips up, falls down, and has to find the strength to get back up. That's where the lesson in grace comes in. Spend those difficult times listening to your heart and give yourself plenty of time whenever you can and if the situation allows. Learn about yourself - what you did right, what you can work on and correct - and always determine what to focus on, what you are looking forward to or striving toward next. And don't be afraid to ever ask for a hand or a hug if you need one. Your moms will gladly assist. And I'll always be there for you!