For My Mom

When I was pregnant with Michaela, I felt a strong connection to my Mother - an unfamiliar bond as it was different than the one we'd had thus far. Sure we had had our differences, our conflicts, our joy, our pain over the years. But this new journey I was taking began a whole new layer in the Mother/Daughter dynamic. How can you not relate the feelings that you are experiencing with those that have also experienced the same thing? It made me realize how much my Mom must have loved me, still loves me. It was hard to not be with my Mom as I was in California and she was in Michigan. We called each other A LOT. Michaela arrived and I never thought I would ever feel that way about another person. The intense emotion that I now felt toward my daughter is often referred to 'unconditional love'. WOW is that the most complex feeling. Can it ever be translated? It clarified the close bond I felt in my heart for my Mom. Our relationship added another layer to it. I now could relate what I was feeling to how my Mom felt about me and I began a new layer of respect for the journey she has taken with me because I was on my own motherhood journey. Only I was to find out a few months later that we were to begin to add yet another layer to our relationship. We were just getting used to being Mother & Grandmother!

My Mom was diagnosed with cancer. Breast cancer. I was hurt, devastated by the fear, sad, mad, and those were only my feelings. What must my Mom be going through? It was hard not to be with my Mom. I wanted to listen, cry, laugh, sit by her hospital bed while she had surgery. We called each other A LOT. We saw each other in Colorado that Christmas and I was happy to see her on the road to recovery. She had an early detection & diagnosis - her cancer was the kind that was operable. Eventually we would learn that the surgery was successful in removing it all. That was eleven years ago. WOW did I experience the most complex feelings I've ever felt during that time. How could I even begin to translate what she was experiencing? Today I feel joy and gratitude. I can still call my Mom, who is in Colorado, and I am in Michigan. I will always have that layer - one of respect for the journey she has taken.

Her journey was one that she is able to talk about, share, and bring to other women in hopes that they respect their bodies enough to go to the doctor, regularly, and take care of their health. Let's look within ourselves and reflect on the unconditional love we share with other women. Make that appointment - that yearly check-up. If you've had one - kudos to you. Add layers to your relationships by sharing your experience and encouraging other women to do the same. The complexity of truly how hard this was for my Mother I hope I never find out for myself. I hope I never share that bond with my Mom. I hope I never have to add that layer to my own relationship with my two daughters. It's a journey I hope never to embark. If for some reason I do, I will reflect on my Mom, and know that I will be able to reach out and in the many layers, in those bonds of unconditional love, a most intense connection will be waiting there for me.

What encouragement or journey can you share today?

Full Moon Tuesday

Megan with her Dad last year. This is one of my favorite pics.
Megan and her beloved Melissa. That Sea Otter is so loved!
Megan at 12 months. It was fun to rewind and do a page of her as a baby.
Here's the Moon pic above the neighbor across the street. Not as big as it looked with my eyes but I do like the big reddish orange tree. The colors around town are at their peak this week. So pretty!

Hi! The weekend turned out to be uneventful. We had to cancel Megan's party. Hopefully the kids can make it again in two weeks. She's still not eating much and resting a lot. It's a good thing she has a Dr. appt. tomorrow. I just want to make sure things are alright. For a well visit, she'll be checked for weight, etc. so I know she'll be underweight, especially since she's eaten so little since last Wednesday. Good grief. Surprised anyone? ;) She's so teeny!

I did get some scrappin' done over the weekend. (Pics above) Michaela made a page in her book, too. It was fun! I ordered over 60 photos for the 'Week in the Life' project that should arrive any day now. I can't wait to start working on it!

There is a big full moon today and last night I took a photo of how it hung just above the house across the street. Of course my little camera didn't take anything of what I saw with my own eyes but I thought I'd post the pic anyway.

Take care today - that full moon is in Aries, which means impatience, impulsiveness, and overall aggressive moods for most. Hopefully it will give you a kick to start something new. What are you itching to begin but keep putting off?

More Birthday love

Today is my younger sister's Birthday and so I want to share a little love - Happy Birthday Stephanie!! AKA Teffy

I love my sis and will be calling to hear her voice later. She's making big plans for this year and I hope the best is around the corner for her! She has the best sarcastic humor of anyone I know. You rock, sister!

In addition to birthday, it's also barfday at my house. Megan awoke at 2:49 AM, came in to my room crying, "My belly hurts!" and clutching her stomach. Ok, so all the moms out there know what to expect next. Nothing like having to jump out of bed and react to the pending doom of vomit that is about to occur any second. Yep, and it has been just lovely ever since. Thankfully I have the best husband in the world and he's home with her today. I had to come in to the office - client meeting today! I just hope the queasy uneasy I am feeling is nervousness and power of suggestion. Hope you all are feeling good today! What's the best remedy for belly aches that you use with your family? How do you comfort your little ones?

Birthdays!

Megan turned 6 yesterday. Wow. Was all that really 6 years ago already? I am always amazed at how fast that happens. *blink* Ok, whew, she's still six.

We bought her a fish tank. Surprised anyone that that would be what she wanted? I thought not. ;) She brought brownies to share with her classmates and decided on Applebee's for dinner. We had the wait staff sing to her and she was so shy about it! LOL She ordered a chocolate sundae for dessert to discover that it wasn't chocolate. It was vanilla ice ream with chocolate sauce. She was so incredibly disappointed. Ok, my baby CANNOT be disappointed on her birthday. So, we went to DQ and got a chocolate ice cream cone with rainbow sprinkles. She was renewed in delight. Ahhh the birthday spoils are good, aren't they? She is having a sleepover party with friends on Sat. I'll take some cute pics and share then.

Kevin turns 37 today. Wow, is he not liking his birthdays. I surprised him with an MP3 player. (Of course I gave it to him early, silly!) I wanted to get him something he wanted but would never buy for himself. :) It'll be no big fuss for him since it's also dance class night. Ah well, this is the disappointing part about birthdays when you get older. The responsibilities never cease just because the calendar shows that you're a year older. I will make my first bundt cake tonight, though, for him. Only because, well, my baby CANNOT be disappointed on his birthday! Marble cake with chocolate drizzle. Yum.

I need to post also about the Week in the Life project. I am pulling together my notes/journaling since I was not good at writing at all. I took about 200 pics though throughout the week. I am planning on completing an 8 x 8 album to document all of this and hopefully can do this again next year. I miss my camera this week...I thought I'd share a few more photos and then I'll begin to share the progress of pulling it all together. I'm hoping Ali's blog today will be filled with inspiration. I just know it will.

Photos are: Friday- waving as we do every morning from the door at child care before school. Me at my desk at work. Saturday- Fish tank is ready for fish. Megan is just captivated. Me getting ready to go out with friends. Sunday - laundry. Bah.

What are you up to this week? Any thoughts on what activities are good for young ladies at a sleepover?

TGIF

I am completely engrossed in the Week in the Life project. I am just in awe at all the possibility that this project has implied so far. I have learned more about how I take in my surroundings and how self-assessment is playing a big role in my thoughts. Some of the struggles I face in my daily routine require some changes but in a good way - to make my life easier & more efficient. The looking glass is scary but I also am learning to be ok with the imperfection and share it. :) I also like capturing the big and the small things. Big things happen - it's part of life and to see it unfold while I'm going through my routine is just an awesome perpsective. I am so thankful for the inspiration. I think as I begin to pull the actual photos, words, stuff onto paper I will end up being inspired to bleed over onto other styles of pages. I'm glad to be doing this project this week!

Welcome to the world, Bryson! Michaela's brother arrived today at 12:20 PM and weighed a healthy 8 lbs. 3 oz. He's 20 inches tall and has dark hair like his Sister and Dad. Isn't he cute? Bryson Lawrence is definitely going to be spoiled by his entire family - especially his 3 sisters.
Michaela got to be in the delivery room and is very happy to spread her joy. I'm sure it will be a moment she will never forget. What a special day!

Welcome, October!

Oh how I love October. It's tied neck & neck with May. Both months have birthdays for my darlings but besides that, the weather is perfection. No central air or heat necessary and it's awesome to be outside! I am looking forward to both Megan's & Kevin's birthdays, Harvest Happenings at Hess-Hathaway park, Diehl's Cider Mill, Halloween and anything in between. I've packed my capris and flip flops and have brought out the sweaters and ahhh, boots. Not the big winter weather yucks, but the fancy black knee high ones and the high heel shorties to wear under pants. I'm ready October!

Today is mid-week for my week in the life project and I feel terrible that the journaling isn't going as well as I'd planned. I am determined to get caught up with my notes today. The pages will be nothing without it! I do have a bazillion pictures. I took my camera to work yesterday and took lots of photos. From the top, this is my morning routine. Coffee (one at home, one to go), ironing something to wear, a view of my shoes surrounded by already falling leaves, myself in the car driving, and Zone 2 is the view from my parking space when I arrived at work. Dontcha love the barbed wire? It's the part of my job that I dislike and try to overlook. Many days though I will admit, it doesn't blend in as well as it should. Not sure how many of the ugly Highland Park pics I'll add to this project, but I took a few yesterday and should do a layout with my thoughts on how seeing such an environment on a daily basis affects me.

On a lighter note, don't forget to check your new October forecast on http://www.astrologyzone.com/ as Susan Miller is the best there is. It's like unwrapping a gift every month. Ok, a bit dramatic, I know, but it's true for me. ;) I do so like to peek ahead and this is my little dose of what to expect.

Take a good look around today and soak in all that it is. ~ Emily