For My Mom

When I was pregnant with Michaela, I felt a strong connection to my Mother - an unfamiliar bond as it was different than the one we'd had thus far. Sure we had had our differences, our conflicts, our joy, our pain over the years. But this new journey I was taking began a whole new layer in the Mother/Daughter dynamic. How can you not relate the feelings that you are experiencing with those that have also experienced the same thing? It made me realize how much my Mom must have loved me, still loves me. It was hard to not be with my Mom as I was in California and she was in Michigan. We called each other A LOT. Michaela arrived and I never thought I would ever feel that way about another person. The intense emotion that I now felt toward my daughter is often referred to 'unconditional love'. WOW is that the most complex feeling. Can it ever be translated? It clarified the close bond I felt in my heart for my Mom. Our relationship added another layer to it. I now could relate what I was feeling to how my Mom felt about me and I began a new layer of respect for the journey she has taken with me because I was on my own motherhood journey. Only I was to find out a few months later that we were to begin to add yet another layer to our relationship. We were just getting used to being Mother & Grandmother!

My Mom was diagnosed with cancer. Breast cancer. I was hurt, devastated by the fear, sad, mad, and those were only my feelings. What must my Mom be going through? It was hard not to be with my Mom. I wanted to listen, cry, laugh, sit by her hospital bed while she had surgery. We called each other A LOT. We saw each other in Colorado that Christmas and I was happy to see her on the road to recovery. She had an early detection & diagnosis - her cancer was the kind that was operable. Eventually we would learn that the surgery was successful in removing it all. That was eleven years ago. WOW did I experience the most complex feelings I've ever felt during that time. How could I even begin to translate what she was experiencing? Today I feel joy and gratitude. I can still call my Mom, who is in Colorado, and I am in Michigan. I will always have that layer - one of respect for the journey she has taken.

Her journey was one that she is able to talk about, share, and bring to other women in hopes that they respect their bodies enough to go to the doctor, regularly, and take care of their health. Let's look within ourselves and reflect on the unconditional love we share with other women. Make that appointment - that yearly check-up. If you've had one - kudos to you. Add layers to your relationships by sharing your experience and encouraging other women to do the same. The complexity of truly how hard this was for my Mother I hope I never find out for myself. I hope I never share that bond with my Mom. I hope I never have to add that layer to my own relationship with my two daughters. It's a journey I hope never to embark. If for some reason I do, I will reflect on my Mom, and know that I will be able to reach out and in the many layers, in those bonds of unconditional love, a most intense connection will be waiting there for me.

What encouragement or journey can you share today?